Friday, March 11, 2005

The power?

I have two guiding theories/teachings to which I am clinging right now. The difficulty of this journey has been had an emptying effect on me and in trying to make sense of this I have happened upon two authors who have some interesting insights:

The first is Watchman Nee. In his book The Breaking of the outer man and the Release of The Spirit he says that for most ministers of The Gospel the biggest limitation they have is themselves. They are the blockage! Therefore God's work is to empty the leader of him/herself and allow The Spirit to be "released." He makes a great point when he says, "The Holy Spirit has only one goal in all of His disciplining work: To break and dismantle the outer man so that the inner man can break forth. But the trouble with us is that we murmur as soon as we suffer a little defeat. the Lord has prepared a way for us. He is ready to use us. As soon as His hand is upon us, however, we become unhappy." Bam! Spot on. At least for my journey. A genuine shift of perspective and a challenge to my priorities as well.

Secondly, on vacation, I happened on a book by Marva Dawn in my Dad's library. I can't recall the title but it had something to do with a theology of weakness and the tabernacling of God. Her basic point, taken from 2 Corinthians 12:9 is that when Paul is speaking of weakness, he is talking about the "end of self" and he talks about "being strong" he is actually using an Old Testament image of God coming and "tabernacling" over us; the tabernacle being the place of dwelling for God with men. So in putting this together - when we reach the end of ourselves, THAT is when God comes and begins to live with us in a dynamic way.

What I find with this teaching and the one from Nee is that it reminds me that one of the primary things going on here is the shaping of a character, not primarily a church. Churches are a collection of characters shaped by the finger of God - often thru hardship and struggle. When it is less than that, when it is just an organism that lives on an institutional level, it does great harm to the Kingdom. Maybe the "organic" for which we are all striving is, perhaps, simply characters being shaped by God and doing the journey together in covenant?

One thing I do know is that I am glad He is still shaping me. If I have learned anything over these months is that the tendency in our church culture to elevate leaders, and in particularly entrepreneurial leaders, is crap. What if this had worked better than it has to this point? Would the speaking invites had started flowing? Just because I got one or two practical decisions right when I could've gotten them wrong? That is really all the difference between this thing going differently! Church planting doesn't have to be spiritual. Yet I would have had a reputation for spirituality that was informed by my "success." Yet I am a schmuck. I know this reality more deeply than ever. I am not an expert and no one is just because they may be great organizers or visionaries. We are all just dust being shaped by the sculptor into something useful.

Friday, March 04, 2005

It's been awhile

Well, let's get back to this.

Our journey has certainly been one of discovery. If I had described for you what I had in mind when we started and then showed you what we know now you would see how long we've come. I am very thankful for that but I am frustrated as well because it can tend to feel like a volatile place, bounced to and fro by the latest insight. The truth is - i am not a native postmodern and its values do not flow from me intuitively. I have to filter it all thru this emerging matrix in my mind and heart that has been informed by study and relationships with people who are. This has meant a slower road for us. Unfortuantely the old adage still lives, "speed of the leader, speed of the team."

Yet there is also the danger of over-reaction, i.e. idealizing things and losing the practical prespective that makes it "work." i know I have done this. A case in point is our growing understanding of the ineffectiveness of "attractional ministry" in reaching a post-Christian context. I believe it and have long felt the incarnational ethos is part of what God is up to with this generation. Yet the attractional element remains dynamic and helpful with Christians. We have lost quite a few people off of this team because that distinction was lost in our zeal and people who may not yet be able to embody incarnational mission could at least still be with us on an attractional level and come to grow into this ethos over time. One level of entry ends up excluding. It is an accidental elitism.